Death In The Indigo Plateau
by sleepy-emo
Summary: It's the day of Professor Oak's funeral and things have gotten out of hand. A concoction of Gold's has left Silver naked and hallucinating on the roof, Blue is trying to keep a secret that should never have been uncovered and Red is just trying to get through the eulogy. Not the most dignified send off the world's leading Pokémon Professor could have had
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I had planned on uploading this yesterday but log in issues and everything so what can you do. This little number is another film fusion of mine, this time Pokémon and Death At A Funeral (the original English one). These Pokémon characters are from the games and manga not the anime, anyway enough from me, hope you enjoy :D**

Red watched solemnly as the long black car containing Professor Oak's coffin pulled into the driveway in front of the entrance to the Indigo Plateaux. He let out a shaky breath – he had known that this day was going to be difficult but he hadn't quite realised just how difficult it was actually turning out to be. It felt as if his entire world was crashing down around him – he had lost his mentor, the man who had believed that he could make it all the way to the Championship, the man who was practically his grandfather.

And now here he was watching six pull-bearers sliding his coffin out of the back of the hearse and carrying it towards him. He took another deep breath. He had promised himself that he wasn't going to cry until after the funeral. He was hoping not to cry at all but just seeing the coffin was enough to have his eyes welling so he wasn't completely sure that not crying was going to be an option.

"Straight through there and to the left." he told the head pull-bearer as they reached the door. He followed them inside to the centre room where they placed the coffin on the raised platform that had been erected for this very occasion. The head pull-bearer turned to Red.

"Would you like to..." he began gesturing to the coffin. Red realised what he was asking and nodded.

"Please." he replied. Two of the pull-bearers pulled open the lid of the coffin and Red looked inside. He looked back up at the head pull-bearer. "Who's this?"

"Pardon?" the head pull-bearer asked.

"This is not Professor Oak." he said.

"Excuse me?" the head pull-bearer asked again.

"This person here is not Professor Oak." Red stated beginning to get annoyed.

"Are you sure?" the head pull-bearer asked.

"Well for a start it's a woman." Red snapped. "This is... hang on is that Professor Juniper?" All of the pull-bearers looked down at the person lying in the coffin and then up at each other, all of them looking horrified.

"Shit we've taken the wrong one." one of them said. They closed the coffin hastily and the head pull-bearer turned to Red.

"We're so very sorry about this." he said. "We'll go back immediately and get him." They hurriedly picked up the coffin and practically fled the building. The coffin was then quickly shoved back into the back of the hearse and they sped off back down the way that they had come. Red watched until they had disappeared.

"Jesus..." he muttered to himself. He went back inside, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration, trying to keep his composure. He couldn't handle this right now, now today. He went into one of the adjoining rooms where Green was fixing her hair. He watched her for a minute before she realised that she was being watched. "They brought the wrong coffin." he told her. He was still trying to process that that had actually happened. Green's jaw dropped.

"You're joking!"

"Can you believe that?" Red said shaking his head. He pulled out a chair and sat down next to her, resting his head on her shoulder briefly. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face again, still trying to process. "Good thing I check." he added. "We could have been having the service for some random member of the public."

"Red please try not to get too upset." Green said. Red got to his feet and began to pace the room.

"I mean what kind of business are these people running anyway?" he asked. "My god." Pacing was making feel slightly better. He was filled with nervous energy and he needed some way to release it. Pacing was the best thing that he could do at this moment in time.

"Red please come down." Green said. Red sighed and sat down next to her. He rested his head on her shoulder. He sighed again.

"There's just so much to worry about, you know?" he said. "Mum's in such a state, Blue's not going to do anything to help – assuming that he even gets here at all. Even the eulogy I wrote is awful."

"I'm sure it's not that awful." Green reassured him.

"Yes it is." he said. He let out a long breath. "I was thinking that maybe Blue should do the eulogy after all. I mean he was Professor Oak's biological grandson after all. Maybe I should just let him do it."

"Red you have every bit as much right to do the eulogy as Blue if not more." Green said rubbing his back. "You are Professor Oak's protégé and you are the reigning Champion. Everything is going to be ok once the funeral is over." Red sighed and got to his feet again.

"I know." he said. "I should probably go back down and make sure that they actually have the right coffin this time otherwise we could be doing this back and forth all day."

"We just have to focus on moving out of here and starting our own lives properly." Green told him. "You did call them? Didn't you Red?" she called after him as he left the room.

"What?" he asked sticking his head back into the room.

"You did put the deposit on the flat?" Green asked. "You have sorted us moving out of Pallet haven't you?"

"I'll sort it, I promise." Red said before scurrying out of the room as fast as possible. That was another subject that he didn't really want to cover today.

* * *

"God I hate funerals," Sapphire said, her eyes focused on the road. There was no answer from Ruby sitting next to her so she carried on. "I mean they're just so depressing. It's just the death and everything... know what I mean? Do you agree Ruby? Ruby?" she added when he didn't respond.

"Yeah," Ruby said. He had been too busy staring out of the window lost in his own thoughts and hadn't really been listening. "it's alright."

"Alright?!" Sapphire exploded. "How can you possibly think of this as alright?" Ruby didn't answer so she carried on. "Why are you even coming to this? You don't even know Red."

"I do know Red." Ruby stated. "I've met him a couple of times."

"A couple of times." Sapphire said incredulously. "Well he's not a friend, is he?"

"No," Ruby shrugged. "Not a friend per-say." He opened his jacket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He pulled one out and put it to his lips before he replaced the packet. He pulled out his lighter and lit it. Sapphire caught the smell and momentarily took her attention off the road so that she could shout at him.

"Excuse me but if you're going to smoke will you please put that out the window?" she told him winding down his window for him. "I'd rather not get your cancer thank you very much. I've got my own problems to be worrying about."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Ruby asked sceptically, taking a drag from his cigarette. Sapphire pulled back the sleeve of her jacket and shoved it under Ruby's nose.

"Like the discolouration on my wrist I keep telling you about and you never listen." she said. "Look at it: it's fucked. I'm fucked." She placed her hand back on the wheel as she realised that Ruby wasn't listening. This irritated her even more. "Why are you even coming, eh? It's cause of Crystal isn't it?"

"Um..." Ruby hedged. She had hit the nail right on the head. Sapphire rolled her eyes.

"Ruby..."

* * *

"Are you ok?" Crystal asked Silver placing her hand on his knee. He was gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles where practically white.

"Not too bad thanks Crystal." Silver said even though Crystal could tell that he was lying. "I suppose I'm just a bit nervous."

"What about seeing my Dad?" Crystal asked with a little laugh, hoping that she would reassure him.

"I just don't think I've been so openly hated by anyone before." Silver said a little forlornly. Crystal waved him off.

"He just hates everyone." she told him. "You mustn't take it to heart, you need to relax more with him."

"I can't help it." Silver stated. "He puts me on edge."

"I think he'll be more concerned that Professor Oak has just died." Crystal replied. "He's not going to be focused on you."

"You're probably right." Silver mulled that thought over.

"Anyway, I'm sure when I tell him that we're getting married he'll start to learn to accept you." Crystal stated.

"Are you sure about that?" Silver asked sceptically.

"Of course." Crystal reassured him.

"It's just I can't really see Victor as the accepting type." he said. "He's..." Whatever he had been about to say was cut off as he slammed the breaks on the car. Another car at the junction had run through the red light and had sped in front of them causing Silver to slam on the breaks so as not to cause a collision. Crystal wound down the window and leaned her head out of it.

"We're on our way to a funeral, you wanker! Don't you have any respect?" she screamed. She leaned back inside the car and fixed her hair before turning to see Silver, all the colour drained from his face, looking terrified. "Ok calm down." she said rubbing his knee again. "It's all right, breathe." Silver let out the breath he had been holding.

"Ok." he panted.

"Deep breaths." she told him continuing to calm him down until he felt calm enough to start driving again.

* * *

"I hope they brought the right coffin this time." Red said as he opened the door, watching the pull-bearers lift the coffin onto their shoulders.

"I'll come in with you." Green said placing her hand on his shoulder. He turned to her and gave her a small smile.

"It's ok." he told her. "I can do it."

"I know you can," she replied. "I'm just going to check on the seats and make sure there's enough room for Uncle Alfie." Red's face fell.

"Oh shit!" he muttered before pulling his phone out of his back pocket and quickly dialled a number.

* * *

"Hello?" Sapphire said sliding her phone onto speaker so that she could answer it and still drive.

"Sapphire it's Red." the voice on the other end said.

"Hello mate. How are you?" she asked. "You alright?"

"Yeah I'm doing ok." Red told her. "Listen do you remember my Uncle Alfie?"

"Yeah of course I remember Uncle Alfie." she replied.

"I know this is a bit of a cheeky question but Professor Oak's coffin has just arrived, would you be able to go to the home on Route Fifteen and pick him up."

"Absolutely fine." Sapphire assured him. "Not a problem at all."

"Thank you so much Sapphire." Red said, relieved. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"No." Sapphire reassured him. "Of course I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" Red asked again. "You're not just saying that?"

"It's fine, I promise." she told him.

"Thank you so much Sapphire." Red replied. "You're an absolute star. I can't believe that I forgot about that."

"It's totally fine, we'll pick him up and be with you in no time." Sapphire told him. "See you soon."

"See you soon." Red said.

"Ok bye."

"Bye." Red hung up the phone.

"Shit!" Sapphire muttered when she was sure that he was gone. She indicated and turned off the road at the next available exit. Throughout this entire conversation Ruby had been sitting staring out of the window, not really paying any attention to what else was happening, suddenly looked up and tried to work out what was happening.

"Where are we going?"

* * *

"Is this the right one for you Sir?" the head pull-bearer asked pulling back the lid of the coffin. Red looked inside.

"Yes it is." he replied. "Thank you." The pull-bearer nodded and had the others close the lid before they all left. Red felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see his mother standing behind him.

"Hey Mum." he smiled at her. "You alright?" His mother sighed and shook her head.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do without him." she said. It had taken Red and Blue a while to get used to the fact that Red's mother was seeing Blue's grandfather but it had become a lot easier over the years. Professor Oak's death had hit Red's mother particularly hard. "I mean what do I have to live for now?"

"Don't be silly." Red said putting his arm around her and kissing her shoulder. "You've got your friends, family. You've got me and Green and Blue..."

"Where is Blue?" she asked looking up at him. "Have you heard from him at all?"

"His plane is supposed to land at ten," Red told her. "but he'll be here, don't worry." Green arrived at their side, looking at Red's mother with concern and resting her hands on the edge of the coffin.

"If there's anything I can do at all Sandra..." she said.

"Don't put your hand there, dear," Red's mother said a little coldly, glaring at Green's hands on the edge of the coffin. "you'll leave a smudge." Green retracted her hands swiftly and shot Red a pointed look. He looked apologetically at her but said nothing.

* * *

"I'll get them to you this evening." Gold said into the phone as he used as small strip of card to bundle about ten orange pills the size of Tic-Tacs together.

"Can't you get them to me any sooner." the person on the other end of the line said. "Like this afternoon or something."

"No can't do it this afternoon." Gold said searching through the pill bottles in front of him trying to find one that was either empty or nearly empty. "I've got a funeral."

"Oh shit man," the person on the other end of the line said. "That sucks."

"Yeah Professor Oak died." Gold told him shaking a Valium bottle and discovering that there was only a few pills in there.

"Shit man."

"Yeah, tragic." Gold said. He cocked the phone between his head and shoulder and opened the Valium before tipping the contents into the small plastic bin beside his desk. There was a short pause.

"So those pills..." the person on the other end of the line said. Gold smirked, picking one of them up with a pair of tweezers and holding it up to his face so that he could examine it.

"I'm telling you mate this is really powerful stuff." he said.

"Really?"

"You really only need to take half, trust me." he said.

"Really?" the other person sounded excited now.

"Oh yeah. It's going to blow your fucking head off." he said. He was using the tweezers the move the pills into the now empty Valium bottle when the doorbell rang. "Right I've got to go, my sister's here."

"Ok," the other person said. "Text me later."

"Will do, bye." he hung up the phone and finished transferring the pills into the bottle. The doorbell rang again. "Hang on!" he called out. He closed the bottle and left it abandoned on the table. He went to the door and opened it, grinning at Crystal and Silver when he saw them.

"Hi, how's it going?" he said. Crystal sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Gold why are you always in your pants when I open the door?" she asked pushing past him and dragging Silver into Gold's flat.

"I'm not always in my pants when you open the door." he grinned closing the door behind them. Crystal rolled her eyes again.

"The percentage is beginning to swing in that direction." she said. "I can't believe you're not ready, we're going to be late."

"I've just got to put my trousers on and then I'm done." Gold stated. "Are you guys ok?" he asked as he went into his bedroom to finish getting ready.

"Silver's a bit freaked out." Crystal replied. "Some arse-hole tried to drive us off the road."

"Really?" Fucking bastards." he said without pausing. "Make yourselves comfy by the way, I'll be out in two minutes."

"Crystal," Silver began. While this exchange had been going on he had been looking around the room at all the various pill bottles. "Why are there so many pills everywhere?"

"Gold's studying to be a Pokémon pharmacist." she told him. She looked down at him, he was still very pale and he had a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Are you ok?" she asked. He nodded.

"Just a bit shaky..." he replied. "Not much, just a little bit." Crystal routed through a few of the pill bottles until she found the one that said Valium and handed it to Silver.

"Take one of these," she told him. "It will calm you down."

"Are you sure?" Silver asked sceptically as Crystal went over to the sink and poured him a glass of water.

"Absolutely." she told him. "It's just Valium, I used to take them all the time. It will make you feel better. Honestly." She handed him the glass of water. He took one of the pills and swallowed it, washing it down with a gulp of water. At that moment Gold emerge from his bedroom fully dressed.

"Ok, I'm really now." he said, grabbing the Valium bottle containing the pills he had made on the way out.

* * *

"Hello?" Blue called as he entered the Indigo Plateaux. "Hello?" he called again when nobody answered. He put his bags down and wandered further inside.

"Blue?" Red's mother called when she heard his voice, coming to the door to meet him. She beamed at him when she saw him, throwing her arms around him when she reached him. "Blue!" He kissed her cheek.

"Hi Sandra." he said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing alright." she said. "Red's through here." she told him and led him through to the main room where Red and Green were still sorting out the chairs. Blue cleared his throat when they entered and both Red and Green looked up.

"Hi Blue." Red said and went over to shake his hand. "How are you?"

"Good." Blue replied.

"How was the flight?"

"Great..." Blue said nodding. "There was a lot of turbulence; that was a bit worrying. See that's the thing about first class, though, it doesn't matter how much you pay for the ticket if the plane crashes you're all going to end up dead." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them instantly. Red's mother dissolved into tears again.

"I'm sorry." she said excusing herself and running into one of the adjoining rooms. Red made to go after her but Green put her hand on his chest.

"No, I'll go." she said. "Don't worry." She followed Red's mother into the next room and Red turned to give Blue a withering look.

"Ah shit!" Blue muttered.

* * *

"That's him." Sapphire said as she stopped the car outside the Retirement Home and pointing to a very irritable looking man sitting in a wheelchair on the porch and looking around, obviously for them.

"Jesus Sapphire you didn't say he was going to be in a fucking wheelchair." Ruby grumbled and slinking down into his seat even more. Sapphire glared at him before winding down the window and leaning out of it.

"Uncle Alfie." she called over to the man. He turned round and saw her smiling warmly at him. "Hello, we're here to take you to the funeral."

"Where the fuck have you been?" Uncle Alfie exploded. "You're late!" Sapphire turned to look at Ruby who just rolled his eyes and lit another cigarette.


	2. Chapter 2

**After a long afternoon of writing about fanfiction for my dissertation (because that's a thing I've done now) I've actually uploaded some. Forgot to say in the last chapter that I wrote this as part of my Camp NaNoWriMo in July and this silliness is getting me through the last few days of said dissertation. Enjoy :D**

Red exhaled heavily. He and Blue were standing in front of Professor Oak's coffin and he felt another strong wave of emotion crash over him again. He felt Blue place his hand on his shoulder and he covered it with his. He turned to Blue expecting him to say something wonderfully profound and sentimental.

"Well this is bloody grim, isn't it?" Blue observed. Red sighed. He was hoping at bit too much for something profound and sentimental from his old rival turned best friend.

"It's not supposed to be fun, its a funeral." he stated.

"I know," Blue replied. "but Jesus... I feel like my heart has bee wrenched out of my ribcage. It's awful." Sometimes Blue could be powerfully eloquent when he wanted to be.

"Well that's grief for you." Red stated.

"This is why I don't do close relationships. There's just too much emotion about everywhere." Blue said. "I'm just so glad that you're here with Sandra, she's probably going spare right now."

"Yeah well we won't be for that much longer." Red stated. "Green and I are moving out of Pallet Town."

"But what about your mum?" Blue asked.

"Actually I was thinking that maybe she'd like to come and stay with you for a bit." Red said. "You know, it might be good for her to get out of Pallet Town for a while and go to Viridian with you."

"Don't be ridiculous." Blue scoffed. "I can't take her to Viridian. What am I going to do with her? Take her into the Gym?"

"We've already decided that we're moving." Red said. "We're putting a deposit on a flat. I'm going to need the money you own me."

"What money?" Blue asked confused.

"Money for all this." Red stated. "For the funeral, you agreed to pay for half of it."

"Did I?" Blue asked as if he had forgotten. Red groaned. He had known this conversation was going to be particularly difficult but he hadn't imagined that it would be this difficult, something else he could have done without.

"Yes." Red replied.

"Yeah, well I don't have it on me right now Red." Blue shrugged. "I can get it to you in a few months."

"A few months?" Red practically shouted. "Blue I need that money now."

"Can't happen." Blue told him, shrugging. "I'm skint."

"What do you mean you're skint?" Red asked incredulously. "You're a successful Pokémon Gym Leader, you live in Viridian City, you have a penthouse there. What do you mean you're skint?"

"Listen do you have any idea how much it costs for the upkeep of a Pokémon Gym and a penthouse?" Blue asked. "Not to mention all the new challengers coming through who want to try and make it to the Championship and besides I paid a fortune for the flight up here do you know how much they're charging for first class these days it's a fucking disgrace!" Red just stared at him, opened mouthed, unable to find the words.

* * *

"So poor old Professor Oak, eh?" Gold said leaning his head forward into the front so that it was level with Crystal and Silver's. "Eh?" he asked again when Crystal didn't answer.

"Yes." Crystal replied not taking her eyes off the road.

"Did you ever meet Professor Oak, Silver?" Gold asked turning to him. Silver had been staring out of the window looked round. His eyes were wide, his face was pale and he was sweating slightly.

"Was there a Growlithe in here just now?"

"What?" Crystal asked, looking confused but not taking her eyes off the road.

"I'm sure there was a Growlithe in here just now." Silver said again, his eyes getting wider with fear. Crystal shot a quick look at him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked. Silver just turned to stare blankly out the window again. Gold looked at Crystal questioningly but she was purposefully looking back at the road, trying to find somewhere to park.

* * *

"There's nowhere to park." Sapphire complained as she drove up the final stretch of Victory Road and up to the gates of the Indigo Plateaux. She huffed angrily as she keep scanning the road for a space to park the car so that she could begin the monumental task that was getting Uncle Alfie out of the car and back into his wheelchair. It had been difficult enough trying to get him into the car, especially as Ruby had been no help whatsoever. "This is ridiculous." she muttered.

"How about over there? That guy's coming out." Ruby asked pointing to an empty space that a large van had just vacated not that far away from the entrance. "Take it!" Ruby said.

"Alright!" Sapphire snapped. She indicated and was about to pull into the space when another larger van cut in front of her. The driver of the van honked his horn loudly before driving away. Sapphire leaned out of the window. "What are you doing? Are you mental?" she shouted before shaking her head and turning her attention back to the space she had been about to park in but realised that there was another car parking in it.

"Too late man." Ruby said shaking his head. Sapphire glared at him before leaning out of the window.

"Excuse me... sorry... excuse me." she called. The driver's side door of the car opened and Crystal began to change the shoes she had been driving in for a pair of heels. "Oh, hi Crystal. I was just about to park there actually."

"Yeah well are you a relative Sapphire?" Crystal asked snappishly.

"No I'm not but..." Sapphire began irritably. On the other side of the car Ruby wound down his window and leaned out.

"Hey Crystal..." he grinned lecherously, looking her up and down. Crystal let out a disgusted scoff and rolled her eyes. She grabbed Silver's arm, who had been staring at one of the bushes lining the outside and led him away with Gold at her heals.

"Who's that?" Uncle Alfie asked but neither of them where really listening. "What's happening?" Ruby turned to Sapphire looking forlorn.

"Did you see that? She barely even looked at me." he said.

"I said what's happening?" Uncle Alfie said a little louder. "Are we there yet?" Sapphire turned round and groaned.

"Oh my god. We've got Uncle Alfie in the car!" she exclaimed as if she had only just remembered. "I can't believe I for forgot to say that we've got Uncle Alfie in the car." A driver behind her honked his horn loudly. "Alright!" she yelled even though he couldn't here her. "Keep your hair on!"

"What the hell is going on?" Uncle Alfie asked. Fed up of being ignored he took his walking stick and jabbed Sapphire roughly in the arm with the end of it. Sapphire let out a high pitched yelp of pain before driving off again to try and find another space to park in. She had just turned and was about to start going back down towards Victory Road when Ruby practically grabbed the wheel from her.

"Stop the car!" he exclaimed. "I need to speak to Crystal."

"What?" Sapphire spluttered as Ruby unbuckled his seat belt.

"I need to speak to Crystal." he said again and jumped out of the car.

"What about Uncle Alife?" Sapphire shouted after him. "I need help with Uncle Alfie!" But Ruby wasn't listening he had already left to run after Crystal like a love struck teenager. Uncle Alfie jabbed Sapphire harshly in the arm with his walking stick again.

"We're going to be late!" he shouted as she clutched her arm.

"Would you please stop doing that." she asked.

* * *

"It's very green here isn't it." Silver observed looking around with wide eyes. "So very green." Crystal grabbed his arm, roughly, and forced him to look at her.

"Silver what the hell is the matter with you?" she asked. He stared at her blankly.

"What do you mean?" he asked in return.

"All this about phantom Growlithes and things being green... What's going on?" she asked. This was the last thing she needed right now. It was going to be difficult enough having Silver and her father in the same room as that very rarely ended well but Silver and her father while Silver seemed to be in this state was going to be a downright disaster. Silver giggled, leaning forward to stroke her face.

I don't know..." he replied still giggling. Gold had been watching them – Silver in particular – and tapped Crystal on the shoulder.

"Crystal," he began trying to be as tactful about this whole thing as possible. "Is Silver normally like this?"

"No of course he's not normally like this." she snapped as the two watched him bend down and greet a small bush cut into the shape of a Pidgey. She shoot her head and sighed. "Something's not right; I think it must be the Valium."

"Valium?" Gold asked confused.

"Yeah," Crystal replied still keeping a close eye on Silver. "I gave him a Valium from your flat. I think he's just not used to it." Gold's eyes widened as he realised what had actually happened. He wanted to pull out the pill bottle in his pocket and count them but he thought that was probably going to be a bad idea with Crystal standing next to him watching. He took a deep breath.

"Right..." he said. This was going to be a long day.

 **GG Gold GG**


	3. Chapter 3

**So finally the day that I have been waiting for for about three or four months now - my dissertation deadline :D I submitted and handed it in yesterday so I am free (...oh god what do I do with my life, this apparently) enjoy :D**

People were beginning to file into the main room. Most of them were standing around talking, waiting to be told where to sit and some had already sat themselves down as Red greeted people and thanked them for coming. It was supposed to have been him and Blue doing this job but he hadn't seen Blue in a while and had assumed he had gotten into a heated discussion with one of the other Gym Leaders present. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Blue standing next to him.

"It's so weird being back here." he stated. "I feel so out of it."

"That's because you live in a different city." Red replied keeping the 'and you never come home to see your friends and family' to himself. "You loose touch with people."

"Yeah but who are all these people?" Blue asked. "I don't recognise any of them. Who's that guy?" He pointed to someone and Red turned to see a man, he must have only been about four feet tall at the most, standing next to Professor Oak's coffin looking solemn. Red shook his head.

"I have no idea." he replied. "Probably some friend of Professor Oak's from the lab." He paused for a moment waiting to see if Blue would say anything else but when he didn't he turned to him again. "So are you telling me that I have to pay for this entire funeral on my own?"

"Well I can't draw money out of thin air Red." Blue replied sarcastically. This was pushing Red over the edge.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" he muttered loudly. It was a lot louder than he realised.

"Red!" a voice said from behind him. He and Blue turned to see the vicar standing behind them looking more than a little shocked at Red's outburst. Red looked a little sheepish, while Blue tried to stifle his laughter as the vicar composed himself. "How's it all going?" he asked.

"Fine, thanks Reverend Davis" Red stated, feeling incredibly embarrassed. "We're just waiting for everyone to arrive and them we can start."

"Great," Reverend Davis smiled. "Thank you." He continued to stare at Red expectantly as if waiting for something else. It was only when he felt Blue give him the tiniest of nudges did he realise what he was waiting for.

"Have you met Blue?" he asked. "Professor Oak's grandson."

"The Gym Leader, of course." Reverend Davis said as Blue extended his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you." he added taking Blue's hand and shaking it heartily.

"Thank you so much." Blue replied smiling warmly at him. "And the same for yourself."

"Will you be reading the eulogy?" Reverend Davis asked. Blue shook his head.

"No, Red is going to be doing it." he said. Reverend Davis looked quite taken aback by this statement but seemed to collect himself quite quickly when he realised that Red was still standing right next to them.

"That's great." he said trying to sound upbeat and cheerful. "Let me know when you're ready to start and I'll make sure that I have everything I need." Both Blue and Red nodded at him. He excused himself and darted away. As soon as he was gone Red turned to Blue.

"Listen I think you should do the eulogy." he said. "Everyone's expecting you to do it and I'll just make a mess of it anyway."

"Don't be silly." Blue chided. "You do it. You'll be fine."

"Ok," Red said exhaling with relief. "thank you."

"Besides I wouldn't have time to write anything before I had to go on, you actually have a whole speech written out." Blue stated. Red clenched his teeth feeling as if shoving his face into a brick wall would be less painful right about now.

* * *

Out in the kitchen Green was having about as much fun as Red was. She had been doing everything she possibly could to help Red's mother with the proceedings and making her feel a little better about the whole situation but each and every time she had been shot down with some remark or another. She was very happy when she saw Red's uncle enter the kitchen.

"How's my little sister?" he asked putting an arm around Red's mother's shoulders and giving her a sideways hug. Red's mother smiled up at him before turning back to the plate of sandwiches she was unwrapping and sighing.

"Just very sad." she stated. "He was wonderful person; so devoted to both of the boys in every possible way he could have been and more and he was so devoted to me as well."

"Can I get you a cup of tea Sandra?" Green asked trying to be helpful. Red's mother sighed again.

"Tea can do many things, Green, but it can't bring back the dead." she stated and continued unwrapping plates of sandwiches. Green took a deep steadying breath. It's just the grief, she told herself, it's just the grief talking. She tried to rationalise Red's mother's snappy behaviour as she went out to find Red himself. He was standing on his own in a corner, pacing slightly, reciting his speech.

"Professor Oak was an exceptional man..." he was muttering to himself when Green appeared beside him and placed her hand on his arm.

"Red have you called about the deposit yet?" she asked. There was a definite edge to her voice but Red was so caught up in his speech and the strange four foot man who seemed to have been staring at him every single time he looked up that he didn't notice it. He shook his head.

"No I haven't." he replied.

"Well why don't you give me the number and I can do it?" Green asked, that edge still in her voice. Red opened his mouth to say something but he caught the eye of the four foot man again – he was still staring at him.

"Green, don't make a fuss but do you see that guy standing by the table." he said gesturing with his head in the direction of the man. Green cast a quick glance to see what Red was talking about. "Do you recognise him at all? He's really staring at me."

"Are you listening to me at all?" she asked. The man and whether he was staring at Red or not was of no concern to her. After yet another brush off from Red's mother she was feeling quite on edge. "We have to put the deposit down on the flat before it's too late."

"I know, I know." Red replied even though he was only half listening. He was momentarily ignoring the staring man and was glancing around the rest of the room to see if they were ready to begin. It was only then that he realised who was still missing. "Have you seen Sapphire and Uncle Alife?" Green just looked incredulously at him.

* * *

Outside Sapphire was struggling to push Uncle Alfie's wheelchair up the last stretch of Victory Road. Due to the amount of people actually coming to this funeral she had had to park practically at the very bottom. Then had come the hassle of unloading Uncle Alfie's wheelchair from the boot of the car and then unloading Uncle Alfie before beginning the steep climb to the Indigo Plateaux – the journey made all the longer by Uncle Alfie shouting grumpily that they were late at her the entire time. This was going to be a long climb to the finish.

* * *

Red was still nervously reciting his speech to himself. He was trying to ignore the man who he could actually feel staring at him. He paced the corner as he continued to read the first line over and over, trying to get the inflection just right, when he saw Blue sidle up to him.

"Kate has grown up a bit, hasn't she?" he asked.

"What?"

"You know, Katey." Blue said nodding over to a young, thin, very attractive girl standing in the corner. "She was a little girl when I left and now... well she's fit." Red shook his head. Blue was unbelievable – it was his grandfather's funeral and he was checking out the local skirt.

"Ok." he replied shrugging. He had gone past the point of listening or caring anymore.

"I'm going to go chat with her." Blue stated.

"Yeah, why don't you." Red told him trying to get rid of him. Just having him around was really irritating and Red wanted to be left alone. Blue gave him a clap on the shoulder and made his way over to the girl in the corner, hoping to engage her in conversation. Red turned back to his speech before he heard someone else approach him.

"Hello there." a voice said. He turned round to see the four foot man who had be staring at him standing next to him.

"Hello." Red said politely.

"I was really sorry to hear about Professor Oak." the man said. "He always talked about you; said you were a good student and a good champion."

"Thank you." Red said wondering where this conversation was going.

"Did he ever mention me?" the man asked. "I'm Peter." The man extended his hand and Red shook it.

"Peter..." he pondered on the name trying to work out if it was one that he did recognise. "I don't think so. Were you friends with Professor Oak?"

"Something like that." the man replied.

"Well it's nice to meet you, thank you for coming." he said. He caught sight of Reverend Davis coming towards them. "Would you excuse me for a moment please." He made his way over to the reverend.

"Red," Reverend Davis said. "I think we should be calling everyone in to start the service. I'm only supposed to be here till three."

"Sure." Red replied. "Do you mind if we wait for my Uncle Alfie though. He should be here soon and I don't want to start without him if possible." Reverend Davis nodded.

"Of course." he replied. Red gave him a gentle clap on the shoulder and made his way over to his uncle standing in the doorway. He was making his way over to him when he passed Blue, still talking to Kate. Red was about to ignore him when Blue excused himself from Kate and joined Red with his Uncle.

"Red." he said shaking his hand.

"Uncle Victor." Red greeted him. His Uncle Victor turned to Blue.

"Hello Blue." he said shaking his hand. How are you?"

"I'm... sad..." Blue replied. Red had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Blue's eloquence was really astounding.

"So how are things in Viridian City?" Uncle Victor asked.

"They're great." he replied. "Really great."

"Listen what's all this nonsense I hear about you not doing the eulogy?" Uncle Victor asked. At least this time Blue had the good grace to look embarrassed for Red.

"That's right." he said. "Red is going to be doing the eulogy."

"Well that's a damn shame." Uncle Victor said. "I mean I'm sure Red will be fine but after all you are Professor Oak's biological grandson after all."

"Will you excuse me for a second." Red said and stalked away. He rounded a corner and bumped into Green.

"Are you alright?" she asked and he realised that he must look very angry. "What's happened?"

"Every single bloody person here wants Blue to do the eulogy." Red growled. He wanted to shout but he knew that he had to keep up some level of decorum. "He was my mentor too. I'm just as entitled to do the eulogy."

"Of course you are," Green said putting her arms round his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. "and it's going to be the best bloody eulogy that anybody has ever heard."

"Yeah." Red nodded. "I hope so."

"Did you hear that Blue won't be doing the eulogy?" someone asked from behind them. Red clenched his jaw and took a deep steadying breath. This was going to be a very long day.

* * *

"Look!" Silver exclaimed holding out a leaf to Gold and Crystal looking amazed. "Isn't it beautiful?" He carried the leaf like it was the most precious thing in the world and carried it off to show everyone else. Gold took hold of Crystal's arm and led her away from the crowd so that they could speak privately.

"Crystal..." he began tentatively. "Can I have a word?"

"What is it?" she asked.

"I have to tell you something and I'm warning you in advance you're not going to like it."

"Spit it out Gold." Crystal snapped irritably.

"Ok." Gold took a deep breath. "The Valium that you gave Silver wasn't actually Valium."

"What did you say?" she snapped.

"That Valium wasn't actually Valium." Gold said again. "It's an hallucinogenic concoction. You know stuff like Acid, Mescaline, Ketamine and maybe a little X Speed in there too."

"This isn't funny Gold." she snapped.

"I'm not being funny." he hissed. "look at him, he's off his fucking tits!" The two of them turned to see Silver slowly shoving his head into one of the hedges, spreading his fingers through the leaves.

"You absolutely stupid..." she hissed wringing her hands at him. She was so angry she couldn't even finish her insult. "How can you leave stuff like this lying around your flat?"

"I didn't think someone was going to take it." he hissed back. "Who goes into someone else's flat and just takes random pills?"

"They were in a Valium bottle." Crystal hissed. She was so angry that she wanted to strangle him but, at the same time, she couldn't quite muster up the energy. "Fuck Gold what am I going to do? Should I tell him?"

"No don't do that!" Gold told her. "You'll freak him out completely. What we should do is keep a very close eye on him, make sure he doesn't get out of control and don't let him spend too long talking to one person."

"That sounds like a good plan." she nodded. She looked up towards the doors to the Indigo Plateaux and saw her father and her aunt coming out of the doors towards them. "Shit!" She ran over to Silver and pulled his head out of the hedge. She tried to straighten him up as best and as quickly as she possibly could and took him over to meet her father.

"Hi Dad." Gold said trying to sound cheerful.

"Hello Gold." Uncle Victor replied. "You're missing University today?"

"Nothing to worry about." Gold grinned. "I'll catch up." Uncle Victor chuckled.

"I know I'm not worried about you." he said. He turned to give Silver a look of pure disgust, although Silver was too busy staring with fascination at the feather on the top of Red's mother's hat and wasn't paying any attention. "I see you've brought your friend along."

"His name is Silver," Crystal replied flatly, trying to hide her anger. "and of course I brought him he's my boyfriend."

"Crystal it's so good to see you." Red's mother said.

"You too Aunt Sandra." she replied. "I'm so sorry, we'll all miss Professor Oak terribly. He was a wonderful man."

"Yes he was." Red's mother replied.

"Silver," Crystal said turning to him. "This is my..." She was about to introduce Silver to Red's mother but Silver had already thrown his arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry about the death." he said into her neck. "So sorry..."

"Thank you." Red's mother said and patted him on the back. "We should go back inside." she said to Uncle Victor when Silver had let go. He nodded and the two of them made their way back up to the doors. Crystal waited until they were out of earshot before she turned to Gold.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know." Crystal replied. "I can't leave – Aunt Sandra will never speak to me again." She sighed. "Shit!" she muttered when she saw that Silver had wondered off and was now staring at the floor.

"I'll go." Gold told her. He damn well should, she thought, this is his fault after all. She shook her head – this was not the day that she had imagined.

"Hey Crystal." a voice said from behind her. She groaned. Ruby was the only thing that could make this day even worse. Why was he even here? "You look nice."

"I'm dressed for a funeral." she replied.

"Yeah but still..." Ruby replied. There was an awkward pause with Crystal trying her best to ignore him even though she could tell that he was gazing at her adoringly. "I heard about the engagement, what's that about?"

"Who told you that?" she asked angrily. "I haven't even told my dad."

"Is that the guy you're going to marry?" Ruby asked gesturing at Silver who was still staring at the floor. "You're going to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"Yep, that's him." she stated. "Now if you'll excuse me..."

"Crystal wait!" Ruby called after her as she went over to Silver and Gold but she wasn't listening.

"Ruby!" he heard someone shout over to him and saw Sapphire struggling with Uncle Alife up the last stretch of road to the door. "Ruby can you give me a hand?"

* * *

"Hi... Red." Peter said stopping him as he was about to make his way to the front doors to see if he could see Sapphire and Uncle Alfie.

"Hello." he said a little taken aback.

"There's something I'd like to talk to you about when you have a moment." Peter said.

"Great." Red replied. "Do you mind if we do it later though? It's just that I think my Uncle Alfie has just arrived."

"Sure." Peter nodded. Red pushed passed him and went to the door where he saw Ruby pushing Uncle Alfie up the last couple of metres to the door. He smiled at him.

"Thanks Ruby." he said. "Thank you so much mate but I can take it from here. I hope it wasn't too much hassle." He took the handles of Uncle Alife's wheelchair and began pushing him through the doors. "How are you Uncle Alife?"

"Terrible." Uncle Alfie grumbled. Sapphire just stared at Ruby in absolute disgust and annoyance.


	4. Chapter 4

**I started watching some classic Pokémon Indigo League this morning while cleaning the oven (I lead such an exciting life now my dissertation is over) and it got me a bit hyped for this, hope you enjoy it :D**

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Reverend Davis said to everyone standing around in the main room. "if you could all kindly take your seats we're about to begin." Everyone began to file into the seats laid out facing the coffin. Red pushed Uncle Alfie to the front of the room, with him complaining all the way. Sapphire flopped down into the seat next to Ruby, panting and sweating profusely. Ruby grimaced.

"Jesus Sapphire you stink!" he whispered as the reverend began the service. Sapphire glared at him.

"Maybe that's because you left me to deal with Uncle Alfie on my own." she hissed. "Not to mention taking all the credit."

"Can you please be quiet." Crystal hissed turning round to glare at the both of them. She turned back to face the front. Sapphire was really irritated by this point and gave Crystal a sharp jab in the back.

"Actually Crystal just so you know we had Uncle Alfie in the car with us," she hissed all the while poking Crystal in the back. "and you took my parking space so I had to push him half a mile up the hill by myself. That was MY parking space."

"Listen," Crystal hissed angrily turning to face her. "if you don't stop poking me I'm going to take you outside and beat the living shit out of you do you understand?"

"What's going on?" Red whispered, turning around.

"She stole my parking space." Sapphire hissed. Red stared at her incredulously.

"What do you mean she stole your parking space?" he asked. "This is a funeral: behave yourself!" He turned back to face the front feeling that familiar bubble of anger, that he had been trying to ignore every single time Blue came and spoke to him, rising up again but he pushed it down.

"And now we will have a few words from one of Professor Oak's most prized pupils: Red." Reverend Davis said. Red took a deep breath and Green gave his hand a squeeze before he got to his feet and went to join the reverend next to the coffin. Reverend Davis gave him a small smile of encouragement and nodded at him. Red took the piece of paper he had been pouring over all morning and looked at all the faces staring at him.

"Hi everyone," he said. "Thank you so much for coming. I never realised Professor Oak was so popular. In fact, it seems he has more friends now that he's dead than he did when he was alive." He paused. He had expected there to be, at the very least, a small titter of laughter but the only laughter came from Silver. He cleared his throat and turned back to the paper. "Professor Oak was an exceptional man. He was born in Pallet Town and at a very young age discovered his love for discovering the world of Pokémon and developing his knowledge of them. His lab, which was built when he was twenty-five and is still standing today..."

Red's speech continued and many of the people there could feel their eyes glazing over out of boredom. This was all information that was common knowledge – it didn't say anything about Professor Oak and what he was like as a mentor, which was what they all wanted to know. The only one who seemed to be paying attention was Silver but he wasn't paying attention to Red. He was staring intently at Professor Oak's coffin. He could have sworn he had seen it moving but he couldn't have... could he? Surely not. But there it was again.

"Did you see that?" he asked Crystal. "The coffin just moved." She smiled at him and shushed him before turning back to Red. He kept watching. Still he could see the coffin trembling ever so slightly. He grabbed Crystal's arm.

"It happened again." he hissed loudly. "I'm telling you the coffin is moving!"

"Silver, please calm down." Crystal said. People were beginning to stare and Silver was beginning to get hysterical. Crystal shot a glare at Gold who just sunk a little lower into his seat. He was going to be in so much trouble with her by the end of the day.

"The coffin is moving I tell you!" Silver shouted pointing at it. "There's someone alive in there!" He got to his feet and began to make his way up to the front.

"Silver where are you going?" Crystal hissed. She tried to grab hold of his jacket and stop him but she wasn't quite quick enough.

"What the hell is wrong with you all!" Silver yelled as he reached the front. The entire congregation was staring at him at this point and Crystal had a sinking feeling that any progress Silver had made with her father was going to have diminished. She didn't even want to look in his direction. "It's moving around in there. Can't you see?" Silver continued to shout. He turned and began to push the coffin. Crystal was on her feet in seconds.

"Silver, stop touching that." she said rushing to his side and trying to prize him off the coffin.

"I've got to let him out!" Silver shouted pushing even harder. By now a small crowd had formed trying to get Silver – who was surprisingly strong – to leave the coffin alone but Silver was like a man possessed. He gave the coffin one final shove and it fell off the table. The lid opened as it fell and Professor Oak's body rolled out onto the floor to land at Red's mother's feet. She screamed before bursting into tears. Crystal grabbed Silver by the arm and managed to drag him out of the room and outside, Gold following her.

She heard Blue apologising to the crowd and telling them that they would be getting underway as soon as everything was straightened up again. She turned to the door and saw Red coming towards them with a face like thunder and knew that this was only going to be the first part of the storm that was going to rain down on her.

"What the fuck was all that about?" Red snapped.

"Red I'm so sorry..." she began trying to use herself as a barrier between him and Silver. Luckily Gold seemed to be keeping Silver out of the way.

"The coffin was moving!" Silver shouted in their direction.

"Shut up Silver!" Crystal yelled at him before turning back to Red. "Just go back inside and I can explain everything. I'm so sorry." Red sighed angrily.

"Fine." he snapped and stalked back inside. Crystal let out the breath she had been holding as he disappeared but was immediately on edge again when she heard her father's voice.

"I'm going to kill him." he snarled as he marched in Silver's direction.

"Dad leave it." she told him.

"Leave it?!" he spat. "He's completely wrecked the funeral."

"It wasn't his fault." she snapped.

"What do you mean it wasn't his fault?" her father asked incredulously. "Your Aunt Sandra is in tatters. I want him out of here this instant. Is that clear? Tell me that you will have nothing to do with that ridiculous man ever again."

"I can't do that, I'm sorry." Crystal replied.

"Why not?" Uncle Victor asked. Crystal took a deep breath, this wasn't going to go down well.

"Because we're moving in together." she told him. Uncle Victor's face contorted in anger.

"Have you completely lost your senses?" he spluttered.

"He's not actually like this." Crystal stated angrily. "He took some drugs and they've made him act funny."

"Drugs?" Uncle Victor asked. "What drugs?" Shit, Crystal thought, she hadn't meant to say that. She caught Gold's eyes and took a deep breath. Now she was going to have to cover for the both of them... great.

"He took some Valium and he had a bad reaction to it." she hedged.

"Valium?"

"Yes." she nodded. Uncle Victor glared at Silver and then at Crystal.

"We'll talk about this later." he snapped before going back inside. Crystal let out a deep breath.

"Well that could have gone better." Gold stated.

"Shut up Gold."

* * *

"Are you alright mate?" Sapphire asked giving Red a hug once he had finished talking to another member of his family. Red hugged her back.

"Not fantastic but thank you." he replied.

"God that was awful wasn't it?" Sapphire stated as the two of them turned to look at the coffin which had been placed back on the table with Professor Oak safely back inside. "The way he fell in front of your mum like a dead trout..."

"Thanks Sapphire." Red replied.

"Sorry." Sapphire winced as she realised that her choice of words wasn't fantastic. "It's just you never know when it's going to happen to you."

"I supposed so." Red replied blankly.

"Like me," Sapphire stated rolling up the sleeve of her jacket. "I've got this weird patch of skin... I've had that for a couple of weeks and I have no idea what it is." Red gave it a swift glance before Sapphire rolled her jacket sleeve down again.

"Why not show it to my Uncle Victor?" Red offered. "He's a doctor."

"Good idea, thanks mate." Sapphire said clapping Red on the shoulder. He smiled at her before another one of his relatives grabbed him to talk. While he was occupied Sapphire took that as her opportunity to go and find Red's Uncle Victor and have a chat with him. She found him pretty quickly; he was with Red's mother and a few other people in one of the quieter rooms. She tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello Doctor, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could have a look at this for me?" She tolled up the sleeve of her jacket and Uncle Victor peered at it. "I've had this skin discolouration for a couple of weeks now and it's not going anywhere. I know it's just a small patch but it's a bit weird." When he didn't say anything she couldn't stop herself from talking to fill the silence. "It does look weird, doesn't it?"

"You should probably got and see a dermatologist." Uncle Victor stated.

"What do you think it is?" Sapphire asked, worried.

"It looks like some kind of pigment mutation." he replied shrugging.

"Pigment mutation?" Sapphire practically screeched beginning to panic.

"It's probably just some kind of allergic reaction to shellfish or nuts or..."

"What kind of nuts?" Sapphire asked jumping on the first thing she could in an attempt to feel a bit better. Uncle Victor shrugged again.

"I don't know; peanuts, almonds..." he replied irritably. "Will you excuse me." He turned back to Red's mother who was leaving to go back into the main room. Sapphire stared after him now feeling even more freaked out about the patch than she had been before.

* * *

"I swear I saw it moving!" Silver was still saying as Crystal and Gold sat him down on a bench a few feet away from the doors. He seemed to be even more distressed now that he was outside than he had been thinking that the coffin was moving. He ran his hands through his hair. "I must be going mad. Why are my hands so big?!"

"Silver," Crystal said taking Silver's hands away from his face and trying to get him to focus on her as best he possibly could under the circumstances. "I need to tell you something so I need you to listen ok?"

"Ok." he replied nodding slowly, his eyes wide.

"You know I gave you some Valium earlier?" Crystal asked speaking slowly so that he would understand what she was saying.

"Yes."

"Well," she began trying to find the right words. "it turns out that it wasn't actually Valium at all. It's a hallucinogenic that Gold made." Silver turned slowly to stare at Gold.

"My advice is to just relax, go with the flow and to try and enjoy it." Gold stated and gave Silver a grin. This did nothing to improve Silver's mood. He got to his feet, grabbed the front of Gold's jacket and shoved him up against the wall.

"You!" he cried in anger.

"Silver let him go!" Crystal exclaimed trying to prise him off.

"How long does it last?" he asked Gold, ignoring her.

"I don't know." Gold spluttered. Silver growled at him angrily. "Around eight hours or so." Gold replied deciding to change his answer. Silver's eyes grew even wider as the realisation of that hit him like a sledge hammer. Eight hours! He felt like he was dying and he had no idea how much time had actually passed since he had first taken the pills. The prospect of eight looming hours made his head spin even more than it already was and he began to feel dizzy. He let go of Gold's jacket.

"I'm going to be sick." he stated and ran back towards the Indigo Plateaux with the sole hope of finding a bathroom. He could hear Crystal running after him but he didn't care. After trying a few doors he eventually found a bathroom and locked the door behind him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror – he looked wide eyed, pale and sweaty. After a couple of minutes of him just staring at his own refection he heard Crystal knock on the door.

"Silver are you ok?" she asked. She tried the handle. "Silver can you let me in please?" Gold, who was standing outside with her had a sudden thought and began patting down his jacket, looking for something. His face fell when he realised what was missing.

"Crystal did you happen to see a pill bottle at all?" he asked. She ignored him. "Shit!" he muttered before beginning to retrace his steps to find it.

"Silver can you open the door please?" Crystal asked hoping to get a response from inside but when she pressed her ear to the door all she could hear was Silver muttering to himself.

"Keep it together!" he was telling himself. "You can do this, no problem. It's already been... where's my watch... oh! It's already been... Jesus! Fuck! Fuck!"

 **And this, kids, is why we don't do drugs :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is getting dumber and dumber and it is not going to stop here haha, ah well I could use a dumb distraction at the moment. So here's chapter 5, I hope you enjoy it, also I calculated three million yen is about fifteen thousand English pounds**

Silver's shouts could heard throughout the entire Indigo Plateaux. People were turning in the direction of the noise as he continued to scream 'fuck' and 'Jesus' every so often. Red was still waiting for this explanation that was apparently going to make up for everything from Crystal but he wasn't holding out much hope that he was going to be getting than any time soon. He shook his head and was about to go and find his mother when the four foot man who had been staring at him appeared next time him.

"Grief does strange things to people, doesn't it?" he stated.

"Yeah, just a bit." Red replied. Peter – Red just about remembered him tell him his name – looked around nervously for a second and then turned back to him.

"If you remember, I have something that I wanted to talk to you about." he said.

"Oh yes." Red replied nodding.

"Is there some place quiet that we can go?" Peter asked.

"Sure." Red replied. He led Peter through one of the halls until they reached Professor Oak's office. It had been left open so that eventually Red and Blue would sort it out and throw away things that were no longer needed. He sat down at Professor Oak's desk and Peter sat down on one of the chairs in front of him. He nodded up at a photograph on the wall of Professor Oak shaking hands with Blue outside the Viridian City Gym.

"Blue's a great Gym Leader isn't he?" Peter asked. Red stared at him blankly.

"Yes he is." he replied flatly.

"You've never aspired to be a Gym Leader?" he asked.

"No." Red replied. "I spend a lot of time training on Mount Silver."

"Ah that's a shame." Peter replied. "You'd make a good Gym Leader." Something that Red had never wanted to do – it seemed like too much hassle. It was hassle enough when he went up to Mount Silver to train and people would come and bother him up there.

"Anyway..." Red hedged trying to bring the conversation back to the point and to stop talking about why Blue was better because he had taken up Professor Oak's offer to become a Gym Leader.

"Yes." Peter said reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small bundle. "Actually I have some photos that I wanted to show you."

"Ok." Red shrugged.

"We became quite close, Professor Oak and I, the last couple of months." Peter said. "We ended up spending quite a lot of time together."

"Right..." Red nodded. Peter handed him a photograph. "Here's me and Professor Oak at the Kanto Safari Park and here we are on top of one of those buses that goes around Goldenrod City – that's a terrible picture of me." Red looked at the picture Peter had just handed him. He and Professor Oak were sitting next to each other, quite close together so that they could both get in the picture. He furrowed his brow and looked up from the photograph.

"Where did you and Professor Oak meet?" he asked.

"I went to one of his lectures on Cinnabar Island, he was so passionate about his subject that I went up to talk to him about it at the end." Peter said. "I was so nervous – I mean it was Professor Oak, how could I not be?" He took out another photograph and handed it to Red.

"Here we are at a fancy dress party in Littleroot Town." he said. "That's Professor Oak dressed up as a Roman Centurion." Peter bit his lip slightly at the thought. Red was even more confused by this.

"In what capacity were you actually friends with Professor Oak?" he asked. "I mean, no offence but he's never mentioned you to me... and you have all these pictures with him as if you were..." Red couldn't quite finish the sentence. Whatever he had been about to say had failed to come out of his mouth when he caught sight of the statue on Professor Oak's desk of a very muscular naked man bending over in a yoga position. He turned and his eyes caught a photograph of another muscular man in a very tight, very revealing leotard doing gymnastics. He closed his eyes but the image seemed to be burned into his retinas. He opened them again and his eyes immediately flew to a signed picture of Elton John on the other side of the desk from the statue.

"'Oak we should get together for drinks again ASAP.'" it read.

"Oh god." Red muttered as that realisation hit him.

"Now I know this might come as quite a shock to you." Peter said. "I'm sure he would have told you himself but he wasn't quite sure how you would react."

"Does my mother know about this?" Red asked.

"No," Peter replied. "and there's no reason why she should find out. Not so long as I get what's owed to me."

"Pardon?" Red asked. Was Peter saying what he thought he was saying?

"Well I think I deserve something." Peter stated. "Professor Oak and I were lovers and he left me absolutely nothing in his will. How do you think that makes me feel?" he asked after a pause. "I'll tell you how that makes me feel: cheap. Like a cheap slut. Don't you think I deserve something?"

"What do you want?" Red asked flatly. So this what actually happening. If he could just get this man to leave then this secret could be buried forever with Professor Oak and nobody but him would have to find out about it.

"Well I think about three million yen should do it." Peter stated,

"Three million!" Red exclaimed getting to his feet. "I'm supposed to be buying a flat!"

"Well that's up to you." Peter shrugged.

"Wait a minute," Red said angrily. "you think you can come in here and show me pictures of you and Professor Oak on a bus and you think that counts as proof? That's not fucking proof!" Peter flipped through the photographs until he found one he was looking for.

"Here." he said handing it to Red.

"What's that?" Red asked taking it before looking at it. It was a photograph of Peter and Professor Oak engaged in some kind of sex act that Red was amazed that someone of Professor Oak's age could get into. He dropped the photograph in surprised. "Jesus!" Peter picked it up off the floor.

"Now I don't want to but I will go out there and I will show these photos to every single person. Do you really want me to do that?" he asked. Red snatched the photograph from him and placed it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

"You wait here." he said going to the door. He left the office and closed the door behind him. As he did he was greeted by Professor Elm and a group of other men all about Professor Oak's age.

"Red," Professor Elm said grabbing him and pulling to one side. "I was just tell George here how when we were boys Professor Oak used to love to make us all go skinny dipping." Red closed his eyes and prayed that this day would be over soon.

* * *

Crystal knocked on the door again and asked Silver if he could open it. She had lost count of how many times she had done this. She wasn't even sure what he was doing in there, occasionally she would hear him muttering incoherently to himself so maybe he had taken Gold's advice and was just riding out the high and enjoying it while staying locked in the bathroom.

"Hey." a voice said from behind her and her heart sank slightly. "Anything I can do to help?" She turned to see Ruby standing behind her with his hands in his pockets.

"Not really." she replied. "Thanks." she added so as not to seem too rude.

"Everything under control?" Ruby asked again.

"Fine." she replied knocking on the door again. "Silver can you open the door please?" She had been intending to just sit outside and wait for him to come out but now that Ruby was hanging around she wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

"So what are you doing next weekend?" he asked. "I've got a couple of tickets and backstage passes to..."

"Look Ruby," she said turning to face him. "I've got a lot on my plate right now and I can't deal with your shit so can you please just go away?" Ruby shrugged.

"I'll be out front if you want me." he stated. Crystal could have assured him with one hundred percent certainty that she wouldn't want him any time soon.

* * *

"Can I talk to you?" Red asked grabbing Blue by the arm. He had been in the corner talking to Kate again and probably trying to work his way into her knickers. Blue brushed him off.

"Not now."

"It's important." Red stated giving Blue's arm a gentle tug. Blue turned and flashed a smile a Kate.

"Excuse us, I'll be back in a second." he said and as soon as he had Red began dragging him out of the crowd and into the hallway. He found a broom closet, shoved Blue inside and closed the door behind the both of them. "What are you doing?" Blue asked incredulously.

"Blue you remember that little guy from before that we didn't know?" Red asked. "The short guy?"

"Yeah." Blue replied, confused.

"I've just been talking to him in Professor Oak's study." Red was trying to find the right words, how to get this out eloquently and not make it sound like he was joking because he knew Blue wasn't going to believe him.

"And?" Blue shrugged.

"He showed me these pictures."

"Yeah."

"Of him and Professor Oak."

"Right." Blue nodded.

"Of him and Professor Oak together." he was trying to spell it out in the hope that Blue would work it out for himself.

"Right." Blue replied and Red realised that he may not be following where he was going with this.

"Him and Professor Oak together at parties and stuff..."

"Red is this going anywhere?" Blue asked irritably.

"For god's sake Blue he was shagging the Professor!" Red blurted out. Blue stared at him like he'd grown and extra head.

"Fuck off!" he exclaimed. "You're shitting me."

"No I'm not shitting you I'm telling you." Red stated placing his hands on Blue's shoulders as if that would help get it get through his head. "He showed me pictures."

"What are you saying?" Blue asked. "That Gramps was gay?"

"That's what I'm saying." Red nodded.

"And he was cheating on your mum?"

"Evidently."

"With that little..."

"Yes." Red cut in before Blue could finish that sentence. "Listen I know that's a bombshell but the concern right now is that he wants money."

"What do you mean he wants money?" Blue asked.

"He wants three million yen." Red stated.

"Tell him to go fuck himself." Blue replied.

"Don't you understand: he's got the pictures." Red told him. "If we don't give him the money he's going to tell everybody here the most intimate details of their sex life." Blue pulled a face.

"I don't want to hear the most intimate details of their sex life." he said.

"Exactly." Red replied.

"What are we going to do?" Blue asked. Red shrugged.

"We'll just have to come up with something."

"Well ok then." Blue replied.

* * *

"What a fucking waste of time." Ruby stated flopping down in the chair next to Sapphire. "I don't know why I even bothered. I dressed up and everything... and she's more interested in that idiot than she is in me. I tell you this world is severely fucked."

"Sounds serious doesn't it?" Sapphire said not paying attention to Ruby at all and staring at the patch of skin on her wrist.

"What?" Ruby asked.

"Pigment mutation." Sapphire stated. She picked up a small slice of cake and bit into it. She tasted something strange and immediately passed it to Ruby. "Can you taste this?"

"Why?"

"I think it has almonds in it." she said.

"So?"

"So, Red's uncle said I'm allergic to almonds." she stated clutching onto the one thing that had stuck into her mind after the conversation with Uncle Victor.

"Don't eat it them." Ruby shrugged. He was too busy looking down the corridor and wondering whether he should go and speak to Crystal again. He thought that if he talked to her often enough he could win her over and charm his way back into her good books. This train of thought was cut off by Sapphire shoving the cake at him.

"Be a mate, taste it and tell me what you think." she said.

"No." he snapped.

"Come on, please." she pleaded. She was absolutely positive that this would be the solution to her problem – a doctor had practically told her that an almond allergy was what had caused the strange patch on her wrist. Well... he sort of had... in not quite so many words... but it made sense to her. "Can't you just do me a favour?"

"Will you please fuck off?" Ruby snapped brushing her off and getting to his feet. Sapphire sighed in irritation and dropped the cake back on her plate. As she slumped back in her chair Gold popped up from underneath the table.

"Have you seen a pill bottle lying around?" he asked. "It looks like a Valium bottle."

"No, sorry." Sapphire said shaking her head.

"Shit!" Gold muttered before disappearing under the table again. Sapphire was about to stick her head under and ask him what he was doing but she caught sight of Red's mother and his Uncle Victor, through the window, sitting on one of the benches outside. Maybe she should ask again, she thought, and made a dash for the door. She made her way over to the bench and it seemed as if as soon as he saw her coming Uncle Victor got the his feet to answer his phone.

"Doctor could you..." she began but he had already walked off. She went and sat down next to Red's mother. She didn't feel as if she could go chasing after Uncle Victor and as Red's mother had already seen her she though it would be rude not to sit down and say something. "Hi."

"Hello." Red's mother said without really looking at her.

"I'm sorry about... earlier." Sapphire said after an awkward pause. Red's mother turned to give her a small smile.

"Thank you." she replied. The two of them fell back into an awkward silence again. Sapphire opened her mouth to speak but closed it thinking better of it. The silence stretched on longer until the point where she couldn't bear it anymore.

"It must be terrible losing someone like Professor Oak," she said, not really knowing where she was going with this. "but you're still young... well young-ish. You'll find someone else... but that's easier to say than do..."

"Quite." Red's mother replied. Sapphire knew she should stop but Red's mother was just regarding her with a raised eyebrow and she was becoming more and more nervous and couldn't stop talking.

"It's just terrible when people die, isn't it? There was a guy that I knew, someone stabbed him to death because he called his mother a 'moose' and the guy just stabbed him right in the neck." she stated pointing to the place on Red's mother's neck. "He cut a major artery and there was just blood gushing absolutely everywhere... and the ridiculous thing is that the guy who did it told the police later that he didn't even know what a 'moose' was." She paused briefly to allow that to sink in before she turned to Red's mother again. "Has that cake got almonds in it?"

"Pardon?" Red's mother asked. Sapphire waved her off, suddenly realising that this was a ridiculously inappropriate question despite the rest of the conversation also being ridiculously inappropriate.

"Doesn't matter." she said. Red's mother pursed her lips.

"If you'll excuse me." she said and got up to leave.

"Nice talking to you." Sapphire called after her. She sat there for a moment looking around, privately thinking that that conversation could have gone much better. It wasn't until she looked down at her feet that she noticed the small pill bottle underneath the bench. That must have been the one that Gold was looking for, she thought, so she picked them up and put them in her jacket pocket so that she could give it to him when she next saw him.

* * *

"Hang on, hang on, hang on." Blue said suddenly thinking. "How do we know that this guy isn't bullshitting us?" Red reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the photograph he had taken from Peter and handed it to Blue. "Oh my god!"

"Yeah." Red said stuffing the photograph back into his jacket pocket.

"I guess we better pay him." Blue said. "We can't have this getting out; everyone would have a field day."

"When we say 'we' do you mean the royal 'we'?" Red asked.

"What do you mean?" Blue countered.

"You said you didn't have any money." Red stated. Blue shrugged sheepishly. Red just stared at him, his face devoid of expression. "So what do you suggest we do?" he asked flatly. Blue thought about this for a minute.

"Let's just pay him and I'll get you the money as soon as I possibly can." he stated. Red shook his head.

"One of these days," he said slowly. "I am going to take you to the top of Mount Silver and push you off it."

"That seems fair." Blue stated. "Now come on, let's go and get this sorted." He clapped Red on the shoulder and led him out of the closet. The two of them began to make their way back to Professor Oak's study where Peter would, hopefully, still be waiting for them. As they passed the bathroom where Crystal was still standing outside Red heard her knock on the door.

"Silver?" she asked.

"Silver!" came the response from inside.

"Silver?" she asked again.

"Silver!" he responded with his own name again.

"Sil...?" she asked.

"Ver..." came the response. Red thought she was more likely to get more sense out of a Magikarp than she was out of Silver and he still hadn't had his explanation about that yet. As he and Blue turned the corridor he saw Green walking towards them.

"I think we're just about ready to start again..." she told him.

"Would you mind seeing if you can give us five minutes?" he asked her.

"Of course." she said. "What's going on?" Red took hold of her hands.

"I'm really sorry but I think our moving plans will have to be put on hold." he told her. "Just for a little while."

"Why?" she asked looking at him in confusion.

"I don't have time to explain right now." he told her. "I wouldn't do this unless I really had to."

"What's the reason?" Green asked.

"I can't explain right now ok?"Red told her, letting go of her hands as Blue continued to drag him to the office. "I promise I will as soon as possible. I'm sorry, I love you." The two of them disappeared and all Green could do was stand and stare after them looking, and feeling, thoroughly confused.


	6. Chapter 6

**I promised that this was going to get even more stupid and this is only the beginning haha enjoy :D seriously kids don't do drugs**

"So you're the blackmailing prick." Blue said as he entered the study and saw Peter sitting in front of the coffee table leafing through some pieces of paper. Red looked at the pieces of paper and realised that he was leafing through. He had been commissioned (badgered) by Professor Oak to write his story of what it was like to be the Pokémon Champion and had only actually begun to write it when he died. He darted over and snatched the pages up.

"What are you doing reading my manuscript?" he asked angrily. "It's not finished yet, no one's supposed to read it till it's finished."

"Well you shouldn't leave it lying around, Red, if you don't want people to read it." Peter stated as Red bundled the papers together.

"Excuse me?" Red asked angrily. "This is a private office, it was hardly lying around." Peter opened his mouth to argue but Blue put his hands up to cut the both of them off.

"Guys!" he said. "Can we just get to the point?"

"Fine by me." Peter replied. Red glared at both of them before going to sit behind Professor Oak's desk and taking his chequebook out of a draw.

"Now I write you this cheque and that's the end of it, yes?" he asked. "You give us the photos and you stay out of our lives forever, yes?"

"That's the deal." Peter stated. Red nodded and began to fill in the cheque. There was a slightly awkward pause before Peter spoke up again. "Is that your first attempt?"

"What?" Red asked.

"At writing." Peter stated. "That's your first attempt."

"And?" Red asked.

"No nothing." Peter shrugged. "I tried to write once," he added after a pause. "it didn't work for me either. I think it's one of those things you either have it or you don't. Have you ever considered writing?" he asked Blue. "Because I imagine you'd have so many good stories to tell being a Gym Leader and all." All through this exchange Red could feel himself getting angrier and angrier until he got to a point where he had finally had enough.

"Right, that's it." he stated. He tore the cheque out of the chequebook and began to tear it into tiny pieces. This was the last straw on the worst possible day imaginable; it was the funeral of his mentor and his rock, everyone had been saying that it should be Blue who did the eulogy, Green was pestering him about moving, Silver was doing god only knows what, Sapphire wouldn't shut up and nothing was going according to plan. Quite frankly, he had had enough.

"Red what the hell are you doing?" Blue asked when he realised that Red was ripping the cheque up.

"There is no way I am giving this twat a single penny of my money." he said looking Peter straight in the eye.

"Don't be ridiculous." Blue said.

"Well why should I?" Red asked. "He comes in here on the day of Professor Oak – our mentor, your grandfather's – funeral, tries to blackmail us and then he slags off my work. Who does he think he is?"

"He has the photos." Blue stated as if that would deter him in any way but Red just wasn't having any of it. He shrugged.

"Let him show the photos," he said. "I don't care."

"Red!" Blue exclaimed.

"No Blue, I give up, ok." he exclaimed. "I give up. I don't care anymore. If that's what he's going to do, then fine, let him do it."

"Alright then I will." Peter said getting to his feet.

"Wait!" Blue cried. "Just wait a second." he ran to the door and slammed it closed just as Peter was about to open in and put himself between the door and Peter.

"Please get out of my way." Peter said as politely as he possibly could but Blue could hear the underlying anger there was to his voice.

"Come on," Blue said trying to sound cheerful. "Let's discuss this for a minute."

"There is nothing left to discuss." Peter said trying to make his way around Blue. "Now will you please get out of my way?" He made one more attempt to get passed Blue but Blue wasn't having any of it. He grabbed hold of Peter pinning his arms together and putting his hand over Peter's mouth.

"Red can you give me a hand here..." he began.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the two of them Silver was hanging his head over the side of the guttering and looking in the window, watching the entire exchange. While spending his time locked in the bathroom he had begun to feel much too hot in there so he had opened a window. It still felt much too hot so he had taken off his jacket, then his shirt, then his trousers and then finally the rest of his clothing. The breeze coming in from outside felt so good and he thought it would be a really good idea to get outside and feel that breeze on his skin.

He climbed out of the window and on to the roof and if felt so good. He had heard raised voices coming from the room a little way down the roof and had gone to investigate. While sticking his head over the guttering to peer inside he had seen Red and Blue talking to a very tiny person. There seemed to be some kind of struggle and now Blue had the tiny person on the floor and was struggling to hold on to him. It was all very strange goings on in there...

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?!" Red yelled over the noise as Blue continued to try to restrain Peter.

"Get me a rope or something." Blue shouted at him. Red stared at him open mouthed.

"We don't have any rope!" he yelled. "Where the fuck do you think we are?"

"Well get something!" Blue yelled back over Peter's muffled shouts. "Get the curtain pull or something."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Red asked.

"Just do it!" Blue shouted. Red shook his head, not totally believing that this was actually happening, and made his way over to the curtains. He took one of the curtain ties and took it over to Blue. "Tie his legs." Blue told him. As soon as he said this Peter began to kick his legs violently. Red threw himself on top of them and just about managed to get the curtain tie around them before going back for the other one and handing it to Blue who tied Peter's hands.

"Jesus Blue." Red said shaking his head again as Blue took Peter's tie off and began to tie it around his mouth. "This is a really bad idea." Blue opened his mouth to say something but the door opened and Sapphire came in.

"Hey Red I..." she looked up and say Peter lying tied up on the floor between Blue's legs and Red standing there looking shocked. "Jesus."

"Shut the door!" Blue snapped and Sapphire quickly shut the door and went to have a closer look.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Who's that?"

"He's having a seizure." Blue stated.

"God really?" Sapphire asked. She had a sudden thought and reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the pill bottle she had found under the bench outside. "I just found some Valium, that might help."

"Bring them here then." Blue stated and gestured Sapphire over. She opened the bottle as she knelt down beside him.

"How many?" she asked.

"I don't know." Blue stated.

"A handful should do it." she said cheerfully. "Open his mouth." Blue moved the tie and held Peter's nose so that he eventually had to open his mouth for air. As his did Sapphire tipped the pills into his mouth and Blue replaced the tie holding it there until he made sure that Peter had swallowed them all.

"That should do it." Blue stated. Red opened his mouth to say something but the office door opened again and Gold entered.

"Have you seen a little pill bottle?" he asked.

"Jesus Sapphire." Blue hissed. "I told you to lock the fucking door!"

"You said shut the fucking door." Sapphire replied.

"What's going on?" Gold asked staring at the scene in front of him in utter confusion.

"He's having a seizure." Sapphire stated.

"Why is he all tied up then?" Gold asked.

"It's a long story," Red stated. "it doesn't matter."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Gold asked.

"It's personal." Red replied.

"But why?" Gold asked still trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing.

"Just trust us," Blue stated. "this is not a good guy."

"So what are you planning on doing with him?" Gold asked.

"How long is the Valium going to last?" Sapphire cut in. Gold's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah," Sapphire said handing him the pill bottle. "I found those Valium you were looking for so we gave him a few to calm him down. Thanks." Gold's face fell as he looked at the bottle and saw how many pills were actually left inside.

"Shit!" he muttered.

"What it is?" Blue asked.

"Fuck!" Gold muttered to himself just staring at the pill bottle in dismay.

"What?" Red snapped.

"The thing is..." Gold took a deep breath. "it's not really Valium. It's mostly Acid, some other stuff and a bit of X Speed."

"What?!" Red, Blue and Sapphire all practically shouted at once.

"Silver took one by mistake and that's why he's acting so strangely." Gold explained.

"What are you doing with these?" Red hissed.

"They're for a friend." Gold snapped.

"Wait a minute." Blue said cutting them both off. "You're telling us that Crystal's boyfriend, who knocked over Professor Oak's coffin had just one of these and you gave him how many?" Everyone turned to Sapphire who grimaced sheepishly.

"Five." she admitted. Blue, Gold and Red all groaned and cursed to themselves. Sapphire stared at them all open mouthed. "You can't blame me for this!" she hissed. Gold shook his head and stared at Peter who's face had already begun to grow pale.

"Poor bastard." he said.

"We should call an ambulance." Red stated.

"We can't do that, I'll be screwed." Gold hissed.

"They're going to find out he's been force fed with hard drugs." Blue agreed.

"What's going to happen?" Sapphire asked. "Is he going to die?"

"No." Gold stated. He paused. "Shouldn't think so." The other three turned to stare at him, their faces masks of absolute horror. No one said anything for a moment before they all heard a knock at the door.

"Red?" Red's mother said through the door. "Blue."

"We'll be out in a minute Mum." Red called. He turned to Gold and Sapphire. "We need to go outside. You two stay here and look after him."

"Look after him?" Gold asked.

"What do you mean?" Sapphire added. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Make sure he doesn't escape," Red stated. "and lock the door behind us."

"Ok." Gold saluted him. Red rolled his eyes and he and Blue left the room.

"Hi Mum." he smiled at her. "How's it going?"

"Reverend Davis needs to speak to you." she said. The Reverend had been standing behind her and he stepped forward.

"Can we resume the service now please?" he asked. "It's just I really need to leave at three."

"That's no problem." Red stated. "Blue and I just need to have a chat so can you give us five more minutes." Reverend Davis opened his mouth to protest but then gave up and sighed.

"Of course." he stated. "Is there a problem?"

"No everything's fine." Blue stated as he began to drag Red back to the closet they had been in before.

"Jesus!" Reverend Davis muttered as they walked away.

"Why didn't you just pay him the fucking money?" Blue hissed tightening his grip on Red's arm.

* * *

"Where's my tea?" Uncle Alfie snapped grumpily as he wheeled himself up to the table next to where Ruby was sitting. He turned and cast a glance at Ruby's forlorn expression. "What's wrong with you?"

"Women." Ruby shrugged.

"Ah..." Uncle Alfie nodded. "Women, women, women. Let me tell you something about women. When I was a young man I used to go out with the most beautiful woman in the village. She'd walk into the room and everyone's eyes would turn – everyone wanted to fuck her. And of course she liked the attention... I..." He stopped mid sentence and began to wheel his chair away. "I need a shit." Ruby turned to stare at him incredulously.

* * *

I can't believe you gave him five of those pills!" Gold hissed angrily, glaring at Sapphire. She glared back at him.

"You can't blame me for this!" she hissed back. "How was I supposed to know that they weren't Valium – they were in a Valium bottle."

"Even if it was Valium you shouldn't have given him five." Gold snapped. "You should never give him five. Don't you know anything?"

"No I don't, not about popping pills." she snapped. They were going round in circles with this argument and neither of the was getting any less angry about the whole situation. Meanwhile Peter was lying on the floor still tied up and staring at the ceiling. Gold and Sapphire's argument was cut off by a knock at the door. Both of them turned to stare at it before the person on the other side knocked again.

"Hello?" Sapphire called.

"I need the toilet." Uncle Alfie said from the other side. Gold and Sapphire looked at each other; Gold mouthed 'shit'.

"Can you use the one upstairs?" Sapphire asked, her voice cracking nervously knowing what the answer was going to be.

"I'm in a wheelchair you fucking idiot." Uncle Alfie barked from the other side of the door. "How am I supposed to get upstairs? Now open the door."

"Hang on a second!" Sapphire called. "What do we do?" she whispered to Gold.

"Put him behind the sofa?" Gold shrugged.

"We're just looking for the key." she called to Uncle Alfie and she grabbed Peter's legs while Gold grabbed his shoulders and the two of them quickly put him behind the sofa. Now that he was lying in a drugged out haze he was a lot easier to move.

"Hurry up!" Uncle Alfie grumbled as Sapphire got the door open. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" Uncle Alfie snapped as he began wheeling himself over to the door on the other side of the room that led to the en-suit toilet. Sapphire turned to Gold.

"Oh my god!" she mouthed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Well I've had an eventful few days: job interview today and going in for surgery tomorrow so what better way to get ready for that than this, all I will say is that Gold and Sapphire do not know how to first aid, like at all. Haha enjoy (and wish me luck for tomorrow :S)**

"Hey Crystal..." Ruby began appearing behind her once again. Crystal groaned loudly. She was beginning to get very sick of this shit. It was bad enough that he was here at all but the fact that he wouldn't leave here alone was really beginning to piss her off even more.

"Ruby what is it now?" she asked.

"I just want to talk to you." he shrugged. She sighed.

"Please don't make me go through this again."

"What are you so afraid of Crystal?" Ruby asked getting closer to her. "I know you feel the same. We can't fight what we had together."

"Ruby, it was one night and it was a massive mistake." she stated. "I was drunk out of my mind: you could have been a Ponyta for all I know."

"Whatever. What's he got that I don't, hey?" Ruby asked gesturing to the bathroom door where they both thought Silver was still taking refuge in.

"Ok," Crystal began. She was about to start on a roll now and there was going to be nothing that Ruby would be able to say that would derail her. "For one thing he's responsible, he's thoughtful, he's intelligent, he's stable. I could do on or is that enough for you?"

* * *

"Stop acting as if this is all my fault." Blue hissed as soon as he and Red were back in the closet again.

"Well I sure as hell am not the one who attacked him and tied him up." Red replied.

"Well someone had to look out for your mum." Blue stated.

"Excuse me?" Red asked incredulously. "I've been looking out for both my mum and Professor Oak ever since you disappeared off to become the centre of attention and fool around with your celebrity friends." Blue shook his head.

"You really are unbelievable." he stated. "you just can't get over it can you?"

"Get over what?" Red asked.

"You're just burning with jealousy that, even though you're the Champion people are more interested in my life than yours because all you do is disappear up a mountain every so often to train."

"And what the hell is wrong with that?" Red snapped.

"You're such a hypocrite!" Blue yelled. "You want to be left alone but you want people to be interested and take you seriously."

"And you are the most selfish..." Red started.

"Red!" Green chided as she came through the door. She had heard them arguing from outside and was determined to get to the bottom of this. "What is going on? This is a funeral for god's sake."

"Not now Green." Red told her.

"Why are you acting like this?" she asked.

"Green," Red practically snapped. "not now."

"It's about the flat, isn't it?" she asked.

"What?" he asked.

"It's because you don't want to move away from Pallet Town do you?"

"Green..." Red began. He had no idea how to explain what was going on and how to tell her that he was all over the place because of something completely unrelated. Blue shook his head and sighed.

"Just tell her Red." he told him. Green looked at him and then turned back to look at Red.

"Tell me what?" she asked. Red sighed.

"Green do you remember that short bloke that I pointed out earlier?" he asked.

"The one standing by Professor Oak's coffin? Yes."

"It turns out that he was having an affair with Professor Oak." Red said.

"And now he's blackmailing us to give him three million yen..." Blue stated.

"Or else he's going to show everyone the pictures of them doing stuff." Red finished.

"Sex stuff?" Green asked.

"Yeah." Red replied. Green looked from Red to Blue and back again trying to process what they were saying to her.

"Is this some sort of a sick joke?" she asked finally when she couldn't see any hint on either of their faces that they weren't messing with her.

"No of course it's not a sick joke." Red replied. Green stopped to take all this in.

"So Professor Oak was gay?" she asked. That seemed to be the only thing that her brain could process at that moment but it was the biggest thing for her to process. Blue shrugged.

"Sure seems that way."

* * *

In Professor Oak's study Gold had been keeping an eye on Peter while Sapphire struggled with Uncle Alfie. He knew he should have been helping as it sounded like she was struggling quite a bit but at the same time he knew that at least one of them had to keep an eye on Peter. The drugs seemed to have taken effect a lot quicker than they had with Silver although that may be because he had been given about five of them in one go. He heard some very odd noises coming from the bathroom.

"What the hell if going on in there?" he muttered to himself and went over to investigate. While he was gone Peter manage to haul himself to his feet and hop round to the sofa. Everything looked so huge to him and the colours of everything were much brighter and much stranger than they normally were. Once he had hoped to a position where he would be able to get on the sofa he wiggled onto it and began to jump up and down on top of it.

He could faintly hear the sounds of Sapphire and Gold arguing in the background but he didn't care. He was having too much fun jumping up and down on the sofa. That was until he lost his footing on the edge and fell backwards hitting his head on the glass coffee table as he did. The sound immediately caught Gold and Sapphire's attention.

"Oh god!" Sapphire cried as the ran in and saw Peter lying, motionless, face down on the floor and a large crack on the edge of the coffee table.

"Oh shit!" Gold muttered. Sapphire grabbed his arm.

"Check him." she said. "Touch him, do something."

"Are you alright mate?" Gold asked giving Peter a gentle shake. He didn't move.

"Try again." Sapphire hissed.

"Mate?" Gold said a little louder giving him another shake. "Mate? What's his name?"

"I don't know." she replied. "Try Philip?"

"Philip?" Gold asked shaking him again. "Are you ok?"

"God please wake up." Sapphire moaned.

"Shit!" Gold muttered before trying again. "Philip?"

"It might not be Philip." Sapphire stated. "Try something else: pinch him." Gold gave Peter a harsh pinch in the side but still he didn't move.

"Is he breathing?" Sapphire asked. Gold stopped pinching Peter's side and checked his pulse. He turned to stare at Sapphire with wide, terror filled eyes. "Is he ok?"

"No," he whispered. "he's fucking dead."

* * *

"If that's the way it is we'll just have to give him the money." Green said as she, Red and Blue began to make their way back over to Professor Oak's study.

"It's not that simple." Blue stated.

"Why not?" she asked, confused.

"Red refused to pay so we're completely fucked." Blue replied.

"Just shut up." Red snapped. He really was not in the mood for this.

"Excuse me." he heard Sapphire say and looked up to see her making their way over to them, a huge, strange smile plastered on her face. "May I come through please, thank you."

"Why are you smiling like that?" Blue asked as she reached them.

"Sapphire?" Red pressed when she wouldn't say anything.

"I was wondering if I could ask you too come back to the office for a second please." she stated, that eerie smile not leaving her face. Red turned to Green.

"We'll be back soon." he told her.

"Alright." she gave his hand a small squeeze. He and Blue followed Sapphire back to the study. She knocked on the door.

"It's Sapphire." she stated and the door opened. The three of them entered the office and Gold shut the door behind them. Red was about to ask what was going on and then he saw Peter's body still sprawled face down on the floor.

"Jesus!" he exclaimed. "Call Uncle Victor."

"There's no point." Gold said.

"What do you mean no point?" Blue asked.

"Look at him," Gold said. "he's stone dead."

"What the hell did you do to him?" Red asked.

"We didn't do anything." Sapphire cried. "He hit his head on the corner."

"He hit his head on the corner?" Blue asked incredulously.

"He hit his head, that's what happened." Gold stated.

"This is bad. This is really, really bad." Blue stated shaking his head. "What are we going to do?" he asked Red.

"Actually I really need to go." Sapphire stated and made a beeline for the door. Blue grabbed her and prevented her from leaving.

"You're not going anywhere." he stated.

"I can't go to prison." Sapphire whispered. "Do you have any idea what happens to people like me in prison? I can't go to prison."

"Sapphire just calm down." Red stated. "We can figure something out.

"Now nobody here knows who this guy is right?" Blue stated. "They don't even know his name and probably didn't even notice him."

"Not notice him?" Gold asked incredulously. "He's four fucking feet tall!"

"Good point." Blue nodded thoughtfully. "So we'll just get rid of the body as if he came and left."

"Get rid of the body?" Sapphire cried. "What are you talking about? What do we know about getting rid of bodies? What are you going to do? Throw him out with the rubbish?" Gold had a sudden thought.

"Did any of you happen to notice the size of Professor Oak's coffin?" he asked. All of them turned round to stare at him.

"Are you seriously suggesting that we bury him with Professor Oak?" Red asked trying to control his anger.

"Why not?" Gold asked. "It's not like he's going to know, is he?"

"That's not the point." Red snapped.

"It makes sense Red." Blue stated. "The coffin is there, the hole in the ground is there, they go and that's it. End of story."

"Really?" Red asked shaking his head.

"Unless you've got a better suggestion." Blue pointed out. Red sighed. He really didn't and, despite everything, it would solve the problem. That still didn't mean it was a good idea though.

 **Best plan guys! Good going**


	8. Chapter 8

**So the surgery on my hand went well, just everything feels really stiff and there's only so much I can do. I can just about type with two hands again so here is this raging insanity. Enjoy :D**

"I mean, come on, look you got to do whatever it is in life that gets you up the most." Ruby said shrugging. After his chat with Uncle Alfie he had decided that he would talk to Crystal and get everything out in the open. He thought that if he did that then she would find his gesture terribly romantic and would fall into his open arms. She had other ideas.

"Yeah but maybe I don't consider my life anymore as being me, me, me." Crystal stated. "Maybe I've discovered something outside of myself that I care about and maybe you should too Ruby."

"That's a bit harsh," he stated. "because I care about you."

"No Ruby, you care about you." Crystal stated. "You care about me in relation to how I affect you there's a difference."

"No that's not true." Ruby stated. "I love you Crystal."

"No Ruby you don't you..." The rest of what Crystal had been about to say was cut off by Ruby grabbing her face with both of his hands and kissing her. She just about managed to push him off and was about to shout at him some more when he glanced over her shoulder and his eyes widened.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" he exclaimed. She turned round to see Silver sitting on the roof with no clothes on looking horrified. She ran to the window and heaved it open.

"Silver what the hell are you doing?" she cried. "Come back in here and put your clothes on this instant."

"I saw you kissing him!" Silver shouted.

"I wasn't kissing him, I promise you." Crystal told him. "What are you doing we're at a bloody funeral!"

"I'll jump!" Silver shouted. Crystal's face fell.

"Don't be silly." she said trying to sound brighter than she felt.

"I'll jump right now." Silver said again. "I swear to you."

"Silver don't do this." Crystal stated. "Do you remember you've got drugs in you so, please, just calm down. Silver will you look at me?" She thought that if she could get him too focus on her long enough then she might be able to talk him back inside. It was at that moment, though, that Ruby decided to appear at her shoulder. "Ruby will you get the fuck out of here!" she snapped.

"I'm going to jump!" Silver shouted and began to climb higher up onto the roof. Crystal began to follow him, climbing out of the window after him. Ruby ran down to Professor Oak's office where he had seen Sapphire going in earlier. He knocked on the door.

"Sapphire are you in there?" he asked. He heard some scrambling around before the door opened a crack and Red's face appeared. "Hi Red, where's Sapphire." Sapphire's face appeared at the door.

"I'm here." she said.

"Sapphire you've got to come and see this." Ruby said gleefully. "Silver's totally fucking lost it."

"What's going on?" Gold asked his face also appearing in the small gap.

"Silver's on the roof." Ruby said still unable to hide the glee in his voice. "He's totally fucking stakers and he's threatening to jump."

"Jesus!" Gold cried and made to follow Ruby outside.

"Where are you going?" Red asked.

"I have to go out there." he said. "If he jumps – I'm fucked." Red poked his head out of the door and saw a large number of people beginning to file outside to watch what was happening up on the roof. Green was passing to join them and he grabbed her arm.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I think I can get rid of this guy but I need you to stay outside and make sure that no one comes in." he told her.

"Sure thing." she replied nodding. Red kissed her forehead before darting back inside the office.

"Everyone's outside so we have to move the body now." he stated.

"Brilliant." Blue said. He grabbed Peter's arms while Red grabbed his legs. Sapphire opened the door.

"Stay here and make sure no one comes in." Red told her as they passed.

"Ok." she nodded. Just as Red and Blue had disappeared with the body she saw Reverend Davis making his way towards her. "Hello Reverend." she said brightly.

"Hello." Reverend Davis nodded at her and made to walk past her but she stepped in front of him.

"How is God doing today?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" Reverend Davis asked.

"I wanted to ask you about religion..." Sapphire hedged.

* * *

"We have to do this right?" Blue said as he opened the lid of the coffin and he and Red heaved Peter – who was surprisingly heavy – into it. Once they had him inside Blue sniggered childishly as Peter's head was between Professor Oaks legs and Peter's were either side of professor Oak's head.

"God we can't leave them like that." Red said.

"You know in a strange way maybe this is what Gramps would have wanted." Blue sniggered. Red stared at him.

"For god's sake Blue can't you take anything seriously?" he asked.

"Why do you say I can't take anything seriously?" Blue asked as if this was news to him. Red exhaled theatrically through his nose. He had just about had enough of Blue's shit today and now seemed as good a time as any to call him up on it.

"I'll tell you why." he snapped. "Because you disappear off the face of the earth and you hardly ever come back to see your friends or family and you don't have an excuse for that because you're practically the next town over. Because you spend the last of your money on a first class ticket when you know that you were supposed to give me half for the funeral. Because you live your life as if you're on a fairground ride and because you never, ever, gave a shit about anyone but yourself."

"Well don't hold back Red." Blue stated sarcastically. "Say what you mean."

"There you go again." Red snapped. "Making jokes and pretending as if everything is ok, well it's not fucking ok!"

"Has it never occurred to you that I have to make jokes?" Blue asked. "Has it ever occurred to you that that is how I cope with everything going on in my life because, despite how it seems my life is not perfect. Maybe the reason I don't come back here very often is because too much is expected of me and I haven't found a way to deal with that yet. So maybe you should have a good hard think about what it's like for me before you go ahead and judge me. Alright?"

"Alright..." Red replied quite taken aback by Blue's outburst.

"Alright." Blue nodded. "Now shall we get back to the task at hand?"

* * *

Sapphire was beginning to flag. She had gone through everything that she possibly could to try to keep Reverend Davis from going any further inside until she'd had some kind of signal from Red and Blue that the coast was all clear. The Reverend made to get past her again, looking desperate.

"Please, I really need to get to a phone." he told her. "Someone needs to do something about this disturbed young man on the roof."

"I have a confession to make." Sapphire blurted out, clutching at straws. "I sometimes have these thoughts about pushing a pen up my bum!" The Reverend stopped suddenly and stared down at her.

"Pardon?"

* * *

"Silver, this is really dangerous." Crystal said as she picked her way over the roof over to where Silver was sitting. "Please come back inside."

"Leave me alone." Silver shouted. He shook his head sadly. "I'll never be good enough. Not for you dad, not for you. I'll never be rich enough, I'll never be cool enough."

"Silver stop talking nonsense and come back inside." Crystal begged him.

"No you go back inside!" Silver shouted.

"Come with me." Crystal begged again.

"Why?"

"Because we're going to have a baby." Crystal said after a short pause.

"What?"

"We're going to have a child together." she said, a little slower this time so that Silver would understand her.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, his entire face lighting up. She nodded.

"And I won't be able to do it without you." she said. Silver stood up and slowly made his way over to her. He wrapped his arms around her and she kissed him. The crowd that had formed on the ground bellow them began to clap and cheer. Silver turned round to face them in all his naked glory.

"We're going to have a baby!" he shouted happily. Crystal laughed.

"Let's go back inside." she said. She took hold of his hand and began to lead him back to the open bathroom window and the two of them climbed back in. As she was beginning to help Silver back into his clothes she heard an angry knock at the door.

"Crystal," her father's voice said angrily. "open this door." Crystal rolled her eyes but unlocked the door all the same. Uncle Victor stormed into the bathroom. "Thank god you're safe." he said before turning to Silver. "You absolute idiot! What were you thinking? I want you to stay away from my daughter."

"Look Dad..." Crystal began.

"Crystal stay out of this." Uncle Victor snapped.

"Dad we're getting married." Crystal told him.

"What?"

"We're getting married." Silver said smiling goofily up at Crystal as she got him back into his shirt. Uncle Victor took a deep breath.

"Crystal you don't have to marry this man just because you're pregnant." he stated. "We can deal with this."

"I'm marrying him because I love him." Crystal replied.

"You can't."

"Yes I can." Crystal said defiantly turning to face her father. "It's my life and this is my choice and I'm sorry if you don't like it but that's just tough. And I will tell you something else – if you don't sort out your attitude you're going to end up a very lonely bitter old man." She took hold of Silver's hand and led him out of the bathroom. As he left Silver stroked Uncle Victor's face, grinning at him though the drug fuelled haze.

"Dad..."


	9. Chapter 9

**I seem to be having trouble sleeping at the moment so my response? This nonsense haha starting to wind down now, hope you enjoy :D**

By the time Red and Blue had heard Green shouting to everyone that Silver was now off the roof in an attempt to warn them that everyone was coming back inside they had placed Peter inside the coffin (in a non sexual position), said their goodbye's to Professor Oak and had closed the lid of the coffin. Red's mother came up to join them.

"Darling we really must start again now." she stated. "Have you seen Uncle Alfie?" Red and Blue looked at each other and their faces fell.

"Shit!" Red muttered before they both darted off to the office. They opened the door of the en-suit to find Uncle Alfie still sitting on the toilet where Sapphire and Gold had left him. Between them Blue and Red quickly managed to get him sorted and back into his wheelchair.

"What the hell is going on?" Uncle Alfie spluttered. "What about that dead body you were dragging over there?"

"What dead body?" Blue asked trying to sound as casual as possible as he began pushing him back into the main room.

"Don't fuck with me." Uncle Alfie snapped. "I saw a dead body!"

"I know you did Uncle Alfie." Blue said as if he were talking to a small child. "We all did."

"No, no, in the bathroom!" Uncle Alfie snapped. "The door opened and I saw him lying there." Green took hold of Red's hand as he watched Blue and Uncle Alfie arguing, chuckling to himself. He turned to smile at her.

"What a nightmare today has been." he said.

"But it's exciting though, isn't it?" Green asked. Red raised an incredulous eyebrow at her and she shrugged, still grinning at him. "You know for a funeral." He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

"Listen about the flat, I promised to call them and I will..." he began. She gave his hand another squeeze.

"We'll work it out." she said.

"Great." Red nodded feeling relieved. As he and Green walked up to the front of the room where the coffin was he caught Sapphire's eye and gave her a discrete thumbs-up. She returned the gesture as Ruby sat down next to her.

"Did you hear that?" he asked gesturing outside meaning what had transpired while Sapphire was trying to distract the Reverend. "She's having a kid. I wouldn't have done it if I'd have known she was having a kid."

"I thought you were in love with her?" Sapphire asked although in reality she was only half listening to Ruby. Today had been an unmitigated disaster and all she really wanted to do was go home and sleep for a month.

"Yeah," Ruby shrugged. "but can you imagine me bringing up a kid?"

"No." Sapphire replied blankly.

"Exactly." Ruby shrugged. He didn't seem the least bit offended by the fact that Sapphire hadn't even tried to defend him. "How's your skin thing?" he asked after a pause.

"Oh that." Sapphire shrugged. She hadn't actually thought about it since the entire saga in the bathroom with Uncle Alfie had started. "It's probably nothing. To be honest I'm more concerned about having had to deal with Uncle Alfie's shit ending up on my face."

"You what?" Ruby asked. Sapphire shushed him as she saw Reverend Davis going over to Red and Blue, who were standing by Professor Oak's coffin.

"We really have to whizz through this now." he told them.

"Alright." Blue nodded. "Let's go."

"Do you want to have the casket open for people to..." the Reverend began.

"No!" Blue and Red both shouted in unison. Reverend Davis looked rather taken aback but he shook it off.

"Alright, that's fine." he said before turning to the rest of the congregation. "If everybody could sit down as quickly as they can we're ready to go again. Come on, come on!" He was ushering everyone to come and sit down, making it clear that he was in a hurry. Once everyone was sat down he turned to face them all. "I'd like to apologise on behalf of the family for all of the distractions and now that everyone is ready to continue with the service Red would like to say a few words about Professor Oak. Come on, Red, quickly." He hurried Red up to the front. Red shuffled his notes, Reverend Davis gesturing for him to keep it quick.

"Professor Oak was an exceptional man..." Red began. He was about to continue when he heard a knocking sound. He shot a glance at Blue, Gold and Sapphire who all realised that it was coming from inside the coffin. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Professor Oak was an exceptional man. He was born in Pallet Town and..." The knocking continued, increasing in volume.

"There's someone in there!" someone exclaimed.

"I knew it!" Silver shouted pointing at the coffin. Everyone turned to stare at it as the knocking continued and suddenly the lid flew open and a wide, crazy eyed Peter sat up inside it. A woman from the back screamed and Peter screamed back at her in return.

"What the hell are you doing in my grandfather's coffin?" Blue asked as if this was all completely new to him. Peter sat forward and began to cling to Professor Oak's body. This seemed like a good cue; Gold and Blue grabbed Peter's legs and tried to pull him out of the coffin but he clung to Professor Oak harder, sobbing as he did. Eventually they managed to prize him off and were carrying him out of the room, him struggling the entire time and neither of them noticed that a bundle of photographs had fallen out of his pocket onto the floor in front of Red's mother who picked them up and looked at them, a number of emotions flashing across her face all at once.

"You little bastard!" she screamed and lunged for Peter. She knocked Blue and Gold to the floor and proceeded to beat Peter, screaming at him the entire time. Uncle Victor picked up one of the photographs and looked at it in confusion. Amid the confusion Red was standing at the front watching everything and wondering just how on earth things had gotten so out of control. He couldn't take it any longer.

"Professor Oak was an exceptional man!" he shouted. Suddenly everyone went silent and turned to stare at him. That wasn't quite what he had planned to happen but he had started now so he might as well carry on. "He may not have been a perfect man but he was a good man and he loved us. All I wanted to do today was to give him a dignified send off. Is that really so much to ask? So maybe he had some things he liked to do but life isn't simple. It's complicated. We're all just thrown in here together; in a world full of chaos and confusion, a world full of questions and no answers, with death always lingering around the corner and we do our best. We can only do our best, just like Professor Oak did. He always tried to tell me you have to go for what you want in life because you never know how long you're going to be here and it doesn't matter whether you succeed or fail the most important thing is that you tried. A mentor can only point you in the right direction in the end, though, you've got to run for yourself. You have to grow up yourself. So when you leave here today I'd like you to remember Professor Oak for what he really was: a decent and loving man. If only we could be as giving and as generous and as understanding as he was then the world would be a far better place."

As he finished he looked over at Blue who winked at him and gave him a thumbs-up and he knew that, finally, something about this day had gone the way he had planned it to.


	10. Chapter 10

**More of an epilogue than a chapter but here is the last installment to celebrate having my stitches taken out :D a huge thank you to DancesWithSeatbelts for all her reviews and encouragement and thanks you all so much for reading, hope you enjoy the last chapter 3**

By the time Red finally got to flop down on one of the sofas in Professor Oak's office the service had ended, Peter had been sent to hospital to have his stomach pumped and everyone apart from himself, Green, Blue and his mother had all gone home. He heaved a sigh of relief. Finally the day was over and he could relax and sleep for a week. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Blue. He went and flopped into one of the chairs opposite, putting his feet up on the cracked coffee table.

"How's my mum?" Red asked. Blue shrugged.

"She'll survive." he stated. "The positive side is she now knows why she and Gramps hadn't had sex for so long."

"To much information." Red laughed.

"By the way I've asked her if she wants to come to Viridian City with me for a little while." Blue stated. "So that you and Green can breathe a bit. Get the flat sorted out and everything." Red smiled at him.

"Thanks." he said. "That means a lot."

"That was a pretty good speech you gave by the way." Blue added after a pause. "It was really impressive."

"Thank you." Red replied. He thought for a moment. "Maybe when you've got time you wouldn't mind taking a look at that book Professor Oak asked me to write. Maybe add some bits of your own and we could make it a join thing."

"Yeah," Blue nodded. "that sounds like a good idea." They fell into a comfortable silence that was broken by Green joining them. She sighed heavily as she fell onto the sofa next to Red putting her feet up across his lap.

"You ok?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, really tired though." she stated. "Uncle Alfie keeps going on about the body in the bathroom. I think it's best if he stays here with us tonight."

"You thing he'll be ok?" Red asked. Green nodded.

"Yeah he'll be fine." she replied. "I found him a couple of Valium from a bottle in the study and put him to bed." Red and Blue looked at each other.

"Valium?" they both asked in unison.

Up on the roof Uncle Alfie sat, stark naked, staring out at the path leading down to Victory Road. He was grumbling to himself, much in the way he usually did but there was something more than usual bothering him about his current situation.

"Everything's so fucking green..."

The End


End file.
